“Here.”

Ben quickly turned the face of his phone down, laying it on the bench next to him so he could take the coffee Charlie was shoving in his face. It was warm for April but they were stuck in the shade, watching Madison blow off steam in the playground so the heat from the cup was welcome.

“You texting your girlfriend?”

The gut-wrenching tension that lanced through Ben’s gut was a learned response, he knew that, but his self-awareness didn’t make it any less painful or shameful. Every time he thought there was a chance that he was going to be caught out it was the same thing, although being that he’d had years of practice at hiding his feelings, it was easy for him to relax his shoulders, huff out a laugh and say, “Definitely not,” as he leaned back against the park bench.

Charlie dropped down beside him with a grunt, and followed Ben’s gaze out the where Madison was bossing a bunch of girls around in some weird game that involved the jungle gym and a lot of random screaming. “If you say so. How’s Maddie doing?”

“Alright, I think. Better than Cate.”

“She get into it with Karen again?”

Ben nodded. He felt so fucking guilty about the breakdown of his marriage, but the fact that his ex-wife was the one getting that blame for something that wasn’t really anyone’s fault weighed on him. Some days it felt like maybe they would have been better off staying together for the sake of the kids even though they’d both agreed doing so would kill them both.

“I don’t know what to do with her. It’s like she’s determined to fight a battle that’s already over and done with.”

“She’s probably just worried about you. About you being hurt.” Charlie sipped his coffee and draped one arm along the back of the bench. “Karen did start up this thing with Ralph awful quick after you split.”

Ben couldn’t help but frown at that. “Nah, it wasn’t like that. Karen’s just not that kind of person. They were friends a long time. He was there when she needed someone. I think he’s a good fit for her.”

There was a huff of amusement and Ben tore his eyes away from where Madison was racing around, to find Charlie watching him with a smirk on his face. “Since when were you team Ralph?”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously though, have you said any of this to Cate? ‘Cause I know how you get.”

“How’s that?”

Charlie shrugged and looked away. “Y’know. You’re crap at talking about your feelings.” Ben let out a hurt sound but his brother went on determinedly. “No, you are. I’m not saying you’re a caveman or anything but actually getting the words out is a whole other thing. You might have thought you’ve explained this to her but I bet you a donut you haven’t, not really.”

Charlie wasn’t wrong, but it was annoying all the same. Ben had always had a hard time expressing himself, probably a side effect of being overly cautious about letting anyone get close to the feelings he’d been guarding his whole life. But he was getting better, at least in some ways. Being with Cal was certainly helping, if only by making him use his words to get what he wanted in bed. Maybe he could start using his new found voice to actually express himself about other things outside of the bedroom.

He sighed but then caught a glimpse of a gaggle of teenage girls making their way across the street to the park. Caitlyn peeled off when they got to the gate and came sauntering over, her heavy backpack dragging one shoulder low, matching the way her dark hair fell over her face as she walked with her head down. Ben shook his head fondly at her, wishing he could do something to make her walk straight, face up to the sunlight, praying this goth thing was just a phase. “Maybe you could talk to her. It might be less confrontational coming from her favorite uncle.”

Charlie had enough time to muttered, “Chickenshit,” before Caitlyn got to the bench. She gave them a semi-cheerful, “Hey,” before slumping down between them and leaning into her father’s side when he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to plant a kiss on her hair.

“How was school?”

“Endless. Jeanette got suspended for punching a guy so that was something.”

“Glad to hear you’re focusing on the important stuff.”

“Hey, it was an injustice! He’s been harassing her for weeks and the teachers wouldn’t do anything. Her parents should sue.”

Ben kissed her again, oddly proud. “Well, when you’re a lawyer, you can represent her.”

Ben felt Charlie bump Caitlyn with his elbow. “Hey, I hear you’ve been giving your mom a hard time.” Her eye-roll was almost audible. “Look, I know you might feel weird about her dating. And if you’re worried about your dad being alone—” Her snort of derision took them both by surprise.

Ben pulled away a little so he could look down at her, feeling offended. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Please,” she said, bending over to unzip her bag and rifle through one of the pockets. “Like I don’t see you texting and smiling at your phone like an idiot. I mean it’s cool and everything but also kinda gross ’cause you’re my dad…”

The way Charlie’s head turned to look at him in slow motion, his mouth stretching out into a wide grin as he came to face him. “Yes, Ben. Is there something you wanna share?”

It would have been funny if it hadn’t been so scary. Ben opened his mouth but nothing came out. In the end, Caitlyn, sat back and shook her head at him. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to have a girlfriend, dad.”

“Yeah, Ben,” Charlie said with a smirk. “Don’t be shy. Tell us all about her”

“Oh my God,” Ben muttered. “I don’t have a girlfriend.” The words came out in a rush of breath. “And if I was seeing someone.” He tried to ignore the looks of delight on Charlie and Caitlyn’s faces. “If I was, it wouldn’t be serious enough to call them anything like that.”

“But you’re dating someone?” Charlie asked softly.

“I’m not sure I would say dating either.”

Caitlyn frowned at him. “So what do you do then?”

And oh, how Ben wasn’t ready to answer that question. “We…hang out.”

“You mean have sex?”

Charlie’s barking laugh definitely came from the same surprise that Ben was feeling at Caitlyn saying something so plainly. Ben felt a little like laughing too but it was more hysteria than anything.

“Enough.” Ben pushed her until she slid off the seat with a smile. “Go get your sister so we can go eat.”

“We going to Joe’s?”

“Yeah. But only if you’re quick.” Caitlyn seemed placated and rushed off to grab Madison, leaving Ben to deal with Charlie, who was still chuckling away to himself. “And you can shut the hell up. You’re supposed to be helping.”

“I helped. Took her mind of things didn’t it. Plus it sounds like she’s cool with you moving on. Maybe it’ll help with things at home.” Ben didn’t feel convinced. As he made a move to stand, bringing Caitlyn’s bag onto his shoulder as he stood, Charlie grabbed his arm. “Hey. I know I’ve been hanging my hopes on you and Karen getting back together but I’m happy for you, man. I’m glad you found someone.”

Huffing out a laugh, Ben shook his head. “Don’t go getting excited. It’s nothing serious.”

“Yeah, well.” Charlie dumped his coffee cup in the trash can next to the bench. “You seem happier lately, so don’t go writing whoever it is off too quick, okay?”

It was a bit of a surprise when Ben found himself answering, “Not planning on it,” and realized that he meant it. Still, the next time his phone buzzed in his pocket, he waited until he was alone to check out Cal’s text. And given how much it made him smile, he was glad he did.