Ben looked up from contemplating the couch. He could well have been frowning without knowing it even though he was only thinking. Charlie always said he had ‘resting angry face’ rather than ‘resting bitch face’.

Cal looked kind of concerned as he walked over, a couple of bottles of water in one hand and a towel in the other. “What did the mean couch do to you?”

Ben almost smiled but his attention fell back to the offending piece of furniture. “Nothing. It’s just a couch.”

“And yet, you look like it pissed you off.” Call dumped the water and the towel on the nearest cushion and turned to Ben, taking his hand. He always did it so delicately, with the tips of his fingers, as if he was giving Ben the opportunity to pull away. Ben never wanted to though.

Ben shrugged. “Not pissed off just…” He didn’t really know how to explain it but if he knew only one thing about Cal after these few weeks, it was that he would wait patiently until he got an answer. “I guess…I don’t know. It makes me feel like a teenager, messing around on it instead of…”

“Instead of taking me to bed?” Cal offered and Ben’s cheeks heated up. Cal stepped closer and ran his pointer finger from Ben’s collarbone to his belt. Ben shivered. “You wanna take me to bed?” Ben nodded. “You wanna get naked with me?” Ben’s breath shuddered out of him. Cal leaned in, brushing his cheek against Ben’s and whispered, “You wanna fuck me?”

It was too much. Ben took a step back and had to look away, fixing his eyes on the floor. He hated that he got so flustered over something so stupid as sex. He was a grown man after all. And it was definitely something he wanted but it was too soon for him. It wasn’t like he hadn’t jerked off to the thought of sliding inside Cal’s body, feeling him buck and writhe under him but the reality was still too complicated. His mind rushed straight to the possibility that he might hurt Cal, or that it would be the thing that turned Cal off him, or that he might suck at it, or come too soon, or even that it might be the limit for Ben—that he might realize that he wasn’t into men after all. And he really wasn’t ready to give Cal up just yet.

Cal didn’t let go of his hand. “That’s okay. We don’t have to do that. But we could do other stuff. In a bed.” He ducked his head to try to catch Ben’s eye. “There happens to be a rather comfortable one right next door if you want to give it a try?”

The room was much like the main living space, stylish with dark gray walls and furniture that Ben knew was expensive but not so intimidating he was worried about breaking anything. The bed itself was large and dressed in plain white sheets and a soft gray comforter. The only clutter was the same array of condoms and sex toys that adorned the rest of the apartment.

“What’s with the TV?” Ben asked, gesturing to the obscenely large screen opposite the bed.

Cal shrugged as he pulled off his shirt. “Some people like to watch porn while they’re…” He didn’t need to spell it out. “There’s a camera available too if you ever wanted to tape what happens and watch it back.” Cal’s jaw tightened a little and he looked away, before adding, “But I don’t do that so—you’d have to book someone else.”

Ben frowned at the thought of another person touching him. He couldn’t imagine that another—hooker—escort would be half as patient or kind with him. But also… “Do people really do that?”

Ben was a little embarrassed by his naivety but Cal look amused, if unsurprised. “I guess you really don’t spend much time on the Internet, huh?”

He stepped towards Ben and ran his fingers around Ben’s waistband before tugging playfully at his button fly. “You want a hand with these?”

Ben had to catch his breath. He could practically feel the heat coming from Cal’s bare chest and wondered if one time he could just spend their hour together simply looking at him. Ben shook his head. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

Cal smirked and stepped back, starting to unzip without taking his eyes from Ben’s. They didn’t speak again or look away from each other until they were both naked.

It should have been nothing. Ben had stripped plenty of times in front of other people—at the gym or skinny dipping on vacation or whatever—but it had never felt like this. There was no flourish or striptease, just two guys sliding out of their clothes, but it was strangely erotic all the same.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other’s bare skin either. But this felt so different. A glimpse of Cal’s tight stomach or sharp collar bones in isolation was one thing but seeing it all standing in front of him had Ben’s arms instinctively coming up to cover himself.

He wasn’t exactly self-conscious about his body. He’d always been bigger, not much of a waist and naturally hefty, probably even if he hadn’t bothered playing football in school and college. Even now as the muscle was yielding to flab having spent too much time in the office and not enough time lugging brick around, he wasn’t worried.

Karen used to bitch about how hairy he was, but even that didn’t phase him. She’d screw up her nose and talk about ‘manscaping’ whenever he’d take off his shirt but he never let it get to him. It wasn’t the reason they had stopped sleeping together so he didn’t see why he should mind.

What was bothering him was the way that Cal’s eyes roved over his body when he finally undressed. They were wide and dark and Cal licked his lips like he was hungry.

“I’ll give you this session for free if you let me lick you all over.”

Ben laughed but Cal blushed and looked flustered for a second like he really hadn’t meant to say that out loud. The sight made Ben’s dick twitch where it was already thickening, hanging heavy against his thigh.

“I wouldn’t put you through that,” he said shyly. “I would really have to pay you extra for the trauma. Plus you’d be coughing up hairballs for a week.”

There was something about Cal’s expression that was clear that he thought that Ben had lost his mind. “I—” he started, but then seemed to struggle for a moment.

When he came forward, it wasn’t in the way Cal normally approached him. He didn’t glide over, all smiles and hips, he sort of scooted forward, his face open and vulnerable and Ben didn’t know where to look.

“Can you just forget for the next minute or so that you’re paying me? I need a time out.”

Ben scowled but Cal looked so earnest he just nodded.

“I need you to understand that I’m not flattering you for money or—I’m been totally honest when I say that this—” Cal ran his hands over Ben’s body, curling his fingers where the hair was thickest and rubbing his palms across the bare patches on Ben’s stomach and wide hips. “I really like this.” Ben wanted to laugh but there was something in Cal’s tone that just wasn’t funny. “That even though you’re paying me for sex, I wouldn’t do it if I found you…” Disgusting. It wasn’t Cal’s word but Ben knew what he meant.

Cal smiled gently. “Is that okay? I just thought you should know.” He ducked his head looking earnestly up at Ben and all Ben could do was nod. When he did, Cal beamed. Then he took Ben’s face in both his hands and quickly kissed him on the lips before he stepped back. “Okay then. Back on the clock.”

Cal smirked and Ben did laugh then. He shook his head as Cal took his hand and led him to the bed. They didn’t do anything they hadn’t done before—taking each other in their mouths, jerking off slow and easy. Ben came grinding his cock into the cut of Cal’s hip and then watched in awe as Cal’s orgasm exploded underneath him.

But later, when Ben was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling when he would usually have been jerking himself off, all he could think about was that Cal had kissed him.

Cal had told him that he was ‘off the clock’ and then kissed him.

After all the times that Ben had asked for that very thing and the hooker had said no, Cal had finally kissed him, like it was natural. Like he meant it. And Ben honestly didn’t know how to feel about that.